Comparison is a killer.
We all do it. Some knowingly, others without knowing. Comparing ourselves to other human beings I mean. I feel like this isn't talked about enough and I thought it was about time that I explored it.
Comparison comes in many forms; physical appearance, money, success... The list is an endless one, but one this is for sure, comparison is a killer. Now, I don't mean this in the literal sense, more of a self-worth killer, a confidence killer or a motivation killer. Let's explore the types of comparison further.
Types of comparison
Physical appearance. My all time WORST type of comparison is comparing myself to others physically. Why is her hair longer than mine? Why is it more shiny? The colour is a lot nicer than mine. Why don't my legs look as slim as hers? Why does she have a flatter stomach than me? What am I doing wrong? Why is her skin so clear? Why does her make up look so good? Can you see a trend emerging? For as long as I can remember I have done this and have had no problem with shaming and putting myself and my physical attributes down in the process. Until now. I was listening to an audio book of You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero, if you haven't listened to it follow the link and do so as soon as you can, she's amazing! She talks a lot about comparison and self-worth and one thing stood out to me more than anything else. "You are the only you that will ever be". Read it again. And again. And again until it sinks in. This blew my mind and now every time I go to compliment someone else on their perfect ponytail I stop and say this to myself in my head and remember how badass I really am!
Money. Nobody likes to talk about it, we all need it in order to survive in the world, we all spend too much of it instead of saving it and earning it can sometimes be pretty damn hard. Yup, money is another huge thing that people compare. They ask themselves why is it that I've worked full time since I left school at 16 and still seem to have no savings? How can that person afford ANOTHER holiday when they change jobs all the time? How is that couple buying their first home when they're the same age as me? (Yes, these are all things I have said to myself, judge me if you wish). But what we need to remember, and I have to remind myself daily is that at the time when you spent those savings, or that inheritance or that pay rise that at the time it was exactly what you wanted and you didn't know what else would pop up in the future when you wished you REALLY had that money back now (also me!). Trust in the timing of your life and know that it will all work out at a time that's good for you, no one else.
Success. Wait what?! That person just got ANOTHER bonus? And that lady has had another promotion and now drives a company car? They just earned WHAT trip to the Caribbean?! Yes, yes I know envy isn't a pretty thing but I know we've all done it. Casually scrolling through social media and you've just seen that Barb from high school (not actually a real lady!) has just got the keys to her first home and there she is with Bert (also fictitious!) looking all happy and proud on the steps of their new home. And they should be, they've been saving hard for years, both work hard and endured 3 years each at Uni getting their degrees. I'm happy for them, I just can't help but daydream that that will be me one day...
Comparison to motivation!
This is something I am still working on but instead of comparing where I am in my life to others now I am remember how lucky I am to be in the body I was born with, to have gone on those cruises and lovely holidays and travelled around Australia and to have the career experience that I have had and worked in so many different industries. ENVY > GRATITUDE, COMPARISON > MOTIVATION, it's all a mindset thing people. Change your mindset, change your life. Let their looks, their money, their success be your motivation!
Until next time, thanks for reading and if this has resonated with you drop me a message I'd love to hear your tips!