• Jade Rideout

A blog about love.

For some the word 'love' makes people start to sweat, feel a bit dizzy and scared. For others, like me, I wear my heart on my sleeve daily and sprinkle the word around like it's Parmesan on a plate of spaghetti. A bad example but you get the idea. The fact is that the 'L' word is not one to fear, but one to embrace.

What is love?

Love is an abstract noun, defined as "nouns we cannot see, hear, touch, taste, or smell." Other examples of abstract nouns include liberty, anger, freedom, generosity, charity, and democracy. Notice that these nouns express ideas, concepts, or qualities that cannot be seen or experienced. Put simply you can draw examples or symbols of love such as a heart, a couple holding hands or a mother and child, but you cannot actually draw love itself.

Love as a science, defined as a series of chemical reactions such as oxytocin which is known as the “love hormone” because it deepens feelings of attachment, dopamine which acts as the brain’s pleasure chemical and Testosterone and estrogen that drive lust. I was reading a study conducted by Harvard University titled "Love, Actually: The science behind lust, attraction, and companionship" which explores this in further detail, I highly recommend a read.

The 5 languages of love

There is a brilliant book that I was recommended by a close family member called The 5 languages of love by Gary Chapman. The book explores the idea that people give and receive love in different ways and that we all have our own 'love language' that speaks to us. According to Chapman the 5 love languages are:

  • Words of affirmation

  • Quality time

  • Receiving gifts

  • Acts of service

  • Physical touch

He delves deeper into each language with a chapter written on each and at the back of the book there is a quiz for him and for her with 30 questions to answer to determine your own unique love language. For me this, this made a huge difference in my relationship as now my other half and I now know how each of us gives and receives love to one another. You can buy his book here.

Love lessons from lockdown

Now that we've covered what the English language defines love as, what science tells us love is as a chemical reaction and how to discover your own unique love language, I'd like to share with you some lessons I've learnt about love and my relationship during lockdown.

  1. Nothing replaces the connection of physical contact with your partner.

  2. After this difficult season you will never take your other half for granted again.

  3. Trying to maintain a 'normal' relationship through WhatsApp messages and video calls is bloody tough, let's not beat about the bush.

  4. Nothing smells as good as the one you love.

  5. Planning every detail of what you will do when you see your loved one again for the first time is THE most exciting thing ever.

  6. If your bond is strong enough no matter how tough things get, you will survive this.

  7. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

  8. Time has a funny way of showing us what really matters in life.

  9. Take note of the little things, they really do become the big things.

  10. The emotions you build up when you're apart are stored ready for when you will see them again, be ready for the overwhelming strength of them.

To all those couples who have been apart during lockdown, I salute you. Know that one day you will look back on this season and say "we were the ones who made it through".

Big love,

Jade Xx

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